...dumbass

It has always seemed to me that a person is merely a conglomeration of traits collected from the influential people in his or her life. Obviously there are other factors but this, I believe, accounts for most of why a person is who he or she is. This morning I lost a very influential person in my life and I am lost in thought.

I remember building a couple of fences with him, listening to his one-note airy whistle as I handed him tools or steadied boards or drove in screws. I remember working on cars with him, not caring too much about the car itself but enjoying the company nonetheless. I spent a lot of time over at his house when we lived in Menifee and I stayed the night there pretty often. Once he took me to a golf tournament to watch Chi Chi Rodriguez. Fishing, working, talking, watching tv, whatever we were doing I remember that I always felt safe around him. He was one of those people who you would ask if you had a question about anything because somehow he seemed to have informed and wise answers to any question. While he was sometimes a little…gruff (my nickname for years varied between “mikey” and “dumbass”) I could feel that he loved me simply by the way he interacted with me.

Family was always a priority. He flew in from texas for family reunions and both my parents’ birthdays without hesitation. I picked him up from the airport when he flew in for my mother’s birthday just this year and we spent the day in Santa Cruz driving around, walking around, and talking about anything that came to mind. People were drawn to him because he was so genuine; nothing about him was a façade. It’s rare to find people who don’t seem to fake some aspect of their lives but, as far as I could see in my time with him, I never saw him be anything but real, even in the days and nights I spent in the hospital with him. While in the hospital his lucidity fluctuated, there were times where it seemed as though nothing were wrong. My second night with him, at about 2:30am, he woke up and randomly began to talk to me; he was clear headed and wide awake as though about to get up, get dressed, and drive home. We talked for about an hour before he fell back asleep and that conversation will forever be etched in my mind.

It is presumptuous to think I could have anything in common with this man other than an occasionally rough exterior but it is my hope that the time and love he poured into me would yield something which could pay him just tribute. I would be honored to love as generously as he did or live as genuinely as he did. I am so blessed to have had him as an influence in my life and I pray that my life would do him justice as such.